One of those "days"

[marsden_online]

when everything goes just not quite right and you just start failing to cope.
[Negativity dump starts]
Might start further back than a day, it's been a rough week. Worth noting that I switched anti-depressants starting last weekend which has doubtless contributed a certain level of emotional instability. Tuesday in particular I came very close to walking out of work very soon after arriving - conversely Wednesday I woke up early and did an 8 hour day at work (plus Thursday and Friday were ... easier which hopefully means the inability to get out of bed /is/ partly related to the previous meds).

Not that I wanted to do a 8 hour day (working late) or sacrifice Tuesday gaming to work late Tuesday when I was feeling particularly crappy or the other late night I did this week. It's one of those perfect storms where all the overdue projects (some but not all partially in that state due to my depressed limitations) come home to roost. If I could just get one finished off there would be a cascade effect whereby I could focus more on the others - but this one project needs bugs resolved quickly so the client can actually start using it and see a practical result for the not insignificant outlay.

I am theoretically not taking on "new" projects until I have cleared my current list/queue and taken a week off work, but every time I think that end is in sight some complication comes up in one of them :( And a lot of those complications are down to my writing rough code because my brain isn't working properly, but it still seem more likely to at least some get finished sooner if I press on rather than walking away for a while.

Emotionally speaking I was literally tearing up when I actually got to sit down with a client on Friday and go over the last few minor issues they /needed/ cleared up. There is still some additional functionally, but that can be drip-fed around other projects.

~~~
That's all a bit of a tangent. The series of events referred to in the title really covers yesterday and a little of the day before. On top of my overloaded working week I was double-booked pretty much solid over the weekend.

Friday evening and Saturday morning / afternoon were times when I was theoretically able to attend this year's 48 Hours of Gaming for Charity event being run by SAGA. I stopped in 3 times
- Friday after work, when it was obvious that another game wouldn't be starting anytime soon and I was having to leave about 6pm so rather than sitting around to no end I just left again
-- [aside] the rest of Friday evening went well - I got to catch up with K who was overnighting in Chch on her ways to the USA and put in a brief appearance at the other event I had been invited to.

- Saturday about midday because I decided a guilt free(ish) sleep in was more important. After a short wait I was able to get into / instigate what turned out to be a very drawn out game of Kingsburg (new players plus analysis paralysis, which I had to drop out of in the final year because I had committed to be elsewhere (see below). -- [I left instructions for plying my spot on auto and apparently managed to win on the tiebreaker (from fairly well ahead when I left)].
-- the game was also interrupted early on by a call about a significant break in and damage at the Hall which probably occurred sometime in the previous six (daylight) hours. This was obviously detrimental to the experience for the other players as well.

- Again on Saturday afternoon where (much like Friday) is was apparent that no game was going to be starting in reasonable time before I would have to leave to prepare for Saturday evening, so I imply dropped money in the donation bag and left to prepare for Saturday evening....
-- What I've heard so far suggests hat there was a lot less interest / lower attendance this year tan last, at least on the board gaming front.

My Saturday afternoon diversion was to take photos at a KAOS battle, which was more of a skirmish with only about a dozen present (not even the worst turnout I have seen). It was entertaining but suffered from long period of either or both sides waiting fro the other to do something. Additionally various personal demons which I'm not gong to detail further here decided to get stirred - these have persisted since :( Again I suspect this is in part to do with the change over of meds.

When I got home on Saturday I cut some firewood then opted to take a nap in the hopes of recovering some spoons - although I did sleep the attempt was unsuccessful and ultimately ended by another call about the Hall which left me feeling, as they often do, like I had been banging my head against a brick wall.

~~~
Saturday evening was the annual KAOS Slave Auction, being hosted at my place. A set-up team was on offer but everything that really needed doing was down to myself or my flatmate putting stuff away. The house had really become very untidy and cluttered. (The cat now seems somewhat concerned by all the empty space). So that occupied the preceding few hours and not-insignificant spoons.

Of the party itself - it was well attended and most people seemed to have an excellent time. For myself the best I can say is [off colour joke] my pussy enjoyed herself. [/off colour joke] LBTC Gytha spent most of the party in the dining room soaking up the attention (and warmth from the fire) quite unconcerned by the large number of strangers or the noise.

The auction itself I believe made a fair amount of money but the experience suffered quite a bit from slow-bid-itis and a distractable auctioneer losing track of who had bid most recently after the invariable descents into ribald humour from all quarters, IME a good auction is a fast auction so people know if they don't put their bids up quickly they are going to lose out. Also for an assistant keeping track of who has bid what on who so the auctioneer is free to concentrate on talking up the lots (not to be confused with chatting up the lots ;) ).

I bought two lots, between whom I believe I will receive marginally more service than eventuated from my purchases last year.

There was one person present whom I had not expected to see but was very happy to catch up with, conversely one person I very much had hoped to see was not able to attend :( My personal brain pets / demons continued to made a nuisance of themselves all night which basically left me waiting for the party to end so I could go to bed. By the time I had run one carload of people to their various homes everyone else had left and I got home to (empty) bed about 3:30am.

~~~
This (Sunday) morning I dragged myself out of bed to get to the Hall by 12pm - only to learn that I didn't need to be there until 1pm after all. Which was fine, I got to do the grocery shopping before instead of after and successfully raid the EcoStore for more water containers. Then I had to juggle three groups on a tour simultaneously, all of whom wanted to move at different speeds. We pushed through it all faster than I would have liked to accommodate the first (who are, I will bitch somewhat representative of a lot of enquiries we have received recently; NCEA students who appear to believe that the Hall can be available on a day or two notice at their convenience. These people take disproportionate amounts of time and energy to deal with).

I got home from this (and related stressors) to find myself completely unable to face the task of post-party-cleanup, and returned to bed. Happily during what must have been a very sound nap the stealth clean up fairies (flatmate and flufmeister) took care of much of it and I should be able to manage the rest gradually over the next week.

My nap was again ended by a phone call about the Hall which again left me looking for a brick wall to bang my head against.

And so here I am, dumping all this stuff into my journal in an attempt to stop it going around in my head. It's going to be another overloaded week at work and I need my rest.