marsden_online: (Kea)
This has been sitting in draft for a while, being completed by increments as I found the time and energy.
~~~
Although it was our turn to have the kids for Xmas this year L had elected to stay only until after Xmas. As travelling without him is much easier D had spent a large amount of her triennial paycheck on a package deal family holiday at Hanmer Springs for the four of us.

ExpandBelated write up )
marsden_online: (write)
Early voting has started, so I'm running out of time to make my triennial pre-election post.

Expandcut for those who are not interested )

Road trip

Apr. 10th, 2023 09:11 pm
marsden_online: (write)
Some months ago we were given notice of my brother (B) and his fiancé's (R) wedding, to be held beach-side in the the Coromandel. After looking at the costs and logistics of flights, rental cars etc just for a weekend trip versus the cost of the ferry, and discovering that there was a quilt show on that we could feasibly visit en-route, the decision was made that we could afford for me to take a week and a half off work, E would be taken out of school (which she could mostly keep up with remotely) and we would make an overdue family holiday of it, visiting places that D hadn't been in years and completely new territory for the other two of us.

Expandlong post is long )

Work / Life

Nov. 6th, 2022 05:18 pm
marsden_online: (write)
This is not the journal post I planned (hoped?) to be writing this weekend, but Stuff Happened and here I am.
Beyond that large parts of this are not exactly what I had mentally outlined when I sat down (hours ago :o ) but getting these thoughts out where I can see them was the point of the exercise.

~~~

Expandwork/life/money )
marsden_online: (Default)
It's been a long year for everyone. Major positive events were our trip to Auckland to see the Lion King and moving into our new house.

A significant negative event that I didn't post about here was the second arson at Antonio Hall, in November, which gutted the original house and left the entire site basically, finally, awaiting demolition. (After photos, and after the 2019 fire, two years on).

Expandsnip )
marsden_online: (write)
Well OK, we moved in over 2 months ago now, a day before NZ went into COVID19 Delta lockdown. This put a crimp in getting the internet physically connected, so for a couple of weeks I was commuting back to the rental which still had a fibre connection. This was actually in breach of level 4 rules, but I wasn't changing bubbles anywhere and it was a very safe drive from one end of the motorway to the other with little traffic. E came with me once online learning started so she could access her lessons and class chats (and spend the rest of the day playing Minecraft). D. tried not to go slowly mad at home with only a data connection.

It's taken this long for me to have the downtime and energy both available to complete a post. We had a deadline for reaching a certain level of unpacking, that being the boys week down for the school holidays. Various things have been purged in the process including some bits of family furniture which were very hard to let go of. It's weird how items which came with Gladson, which I have lived with and used for 20 years I was able to pass on without a second thought but items which came from my grandparents but I personally rarely used tore at me.

There is still a garage half-full of boxes to be gone through, and the wardrobe in the spare room and some containers under beds/desks.

Anyway, the house itself.

Front view

Side view from rear

Other rear corner, with cat in window

Unfortunately landscaping did not come as part of the package. I'm currently playing a wait-and-see-what-grows game, in which if something looks like it will serve as manageable ground cover it stays. De-stoning and smoothing is probably going to be a several year project, as is cleaning up the unwanted cabbage trees / flax on the back hill (the sound barrier between us and the state highway / railway line). I have long-terms intentions to terrace this a bit and utilise the height for raised garden beds.

Unwanted native bush

(Despite the hill traffic noise is a constant, even at night with big trucks and goods trains, but it is no worse than living next to a busy roads in town. It actually makes for a kind of soothing white-noise. Can't rely on the sound of a vehicle to tell us that visitors have arrived though, constant false-positives.)

ExpandInternals #DontRobUs )
marsden_online: (write)
The weekend just been D, E and myself flew to Auckland to see the Lion King, as who knows when a show of its like will be in NZ again and who knows when we will be able to remotely afford such a trip again. The trip has been in planning since the announcement, including reserving presale tickets to the matinee on the Sunday afternoon.

I'm sure I would have enjoyed the weekend more had I not been running on emotional fumes for the past few weeks.

ExpandSaturday )
ExpandSunday )
ExpandMonday )
marsden_online: (loved)
Yesterday D's kids (also now my step-kids, how weird is that?) returned to Wellington with their father after spending most of the past two weeks of the school holidays with us. Unlike previous visits the vast bulk of it was spent at home, partially because I was working throughout and partially because the weather was lousy for most of it.

We did manage one trip away, spending Friday/Saturday nights at "Nana South"'s as it is expected to be the final opportunity to do so. On the Saturday we headed inland snow-hunting, but it rapidly became obvious that despite the rotten weather and predictions of snow to low levels the previous week we weren't going to reach the levels it was actually visible at. Instead we stopped at Hanmer so D could visit the Mickey Rae's (quilting supplies) and then paid a visit to the Hanmer Animal Park for fuzzy encounters and lunch. L was a bit bored but uncharacteristically patient and E and R both really enjoyed themselves.

Speaking of behaviours all the kids have clearly grown in maturity between the last visit (Xmas/New Year/Wedding) and this one. (The next scheduled visit was cancelled by lockdown, but we were able to credit the flights, yay). They were mostly more reliable and proactive about doing their (pocket money earning) chores and alongside L's increased patience E and R are no longer so permanently attached / interdependent. Their fascination with LBTC Gytha has only deepened especially L (who was originally very wary) as this time he learned how to play with her from a "safe" distance with her ... chasey thing. For her part Gytha was much more willing to spend extended time in the presence of the kids (although the weather may also have had something to do with that) and accept being shut out of their rooms most of the time.

What mostly /didn't/ get done was the anticipated sorting and packing in the evenings. D's current injuries meant cooking parts of dinner often couldn't be started/progressed until I got home, which meant late dinners, which meant washing the dishes and other aspects of the nightly routine usually took us through to bedtime; I did stay up later (than I should have) several nights catching up on things online and trying to get my head around properties and price ranges and suburbs/locations and school zones ...

Today is a catch-up-on-various-things day and tomorrow evening the sorting and packing and paperwork will have to begin in earnest.

~~~
Yesterday was also the first anniversary of my father's death. We don't go in for big annual events in our family, life goes on and for me at least there are reasons to remember him every day. But I am glad that circumstances came together such that I was able to spend some quality time with Mum and help out a little with her decluttering. Several venerable, made-to-last kitchen/dining items now have appreciative new homes.

Stuck

Apr. 19th, 2020 10:03 pm
marsden_online: (write)
Expand3000+words later ... )

So that's where I'm at. Me having time to achieve things for me and my sanity, let alone spend the time doing things with D which she deserves looks to be mortgage-paid-off-and-retirement time away, which at this rate means I will be about 85. It's not a sustainable situation, but I have very few ideas of how to remedy it that I have not already tried and failed over the years.
marsden_online: (Default)
As of Monday I am officially working from home. I could already do this, but I took steps over the past two weeks to make sure I have frictionless remote access to my work computer and network, and will be visiting the office briefly on Monday to pick up my physical diary/to do list and another monitor.

This change in routine and the process of isolation won't actually impact my day-to-day life much at all,

- almost all my social contact outside the office is already digital.
- I have computer games, board games and someone to play them with, someone to watch media with, a massive backlog of personal projects and reading, and of course the never-ending house cleaning and gardening to keep me occupied.
- We live in an open suburb, literally right next to a park with plenty of open space and streets to wander if we need to get away from the house for a while.

It may even result in me working more regular hours and fewer late nights.

My job is also pretty secure; even if new work slows right down my company has enough ongoing clients requiring support and should be able to access the government subsidy, which is not a lot less than my usually part time take-home, to keep me on.

But I can not forget that (emphasis mine)

While this feels like it’s hitting us all hard, it’s also accentuating the disparities in our society. It’s a top-slice luxury to work from home, to avoid crowded subways, to have an internet connection and a pantry. A patient came to my diabetes clinic to get a prescription today (she’s terrified her insulin supplies might be exhausted, and I don’t blame her). The bus services are stripped back, so she’d been up since 4am making the cross-town commute. By the time she arrived her blood sugar was dangerously low. We gave her jellybeans and a cheese sandwich and she left, alone, to find a pharmacy that wasn’t out of stock.
The urgent and the invisible: Thoughts from state-of-emergency Melbourne


I do have friends with immune disorders, currently in or recovering from chemotherapy, or serious respiratory issues who are totally isolating themselves. D. is immuno-compromised, so I will have to get into the habit of taking due precautions over cleaning and clothing when I come back from the grocery shopping or other necessary errands.

I have friends who are worried about their jobs, and worse trying to deal with WINZ who by all accounts have not yet updated their procedures and requirements to allow for the current situation of government-encouraged/proscribed stay-at-home and the pending wave/s of job losses / lack of re-employment opportunities, especially among the most vulnerable and in need of assistance/accommodation. [end rant]

~~~

On the mental front it's a bit harder to say. As I've seen commented in several places, there is a world of psychological difference between choosing to stay at home and being told you have to stay at home. I'm personally able to keep busy (see above), feel that I have the ability/choice to run an errand if it is needed, and am not facing any major upsets, but the underlying society-wide low-level stress is making itself felt especially during quiet times. I'm also here to support D., who in addition to concerns for her personal well-being is having to cope with the fact that the children's planned school holiday visit has had to be cancelled and she does not know when she will get to see her kids in person again.

It has all gotten a bit too much for me at times, and I have felt that big dark hole opening up inside. It's hard to explain what is "in" there; exhaustion, grief, worry, frustration and void simultaneously. An hour or so of quiet time away from any demands by the world and with a brain-resetting distraction is usually enough to bring me out of it, but I do worry what will happen if I don't have that opportunity for a period (ironically, such opportunities are far more likely under the current circumstances).
marsden_online: (Sisters)
pushed myself past my limits
physically, mentally, emotionally
broken

Depressed over not being able to help fix the world's problems when I cant even get my own house (literal and metaphorical) sorted cleaned and in order. I am managing /something/ almost every day but just don't seem to be getting to the big tasks which are staring me in the face every day.

~~~
Thursday was a public holiday and I exhausted myself physically doing overdue cleaning - the shower, the toilet, the fridge - even without doing a complete job of any of them. I find myself exhausted myself today just from trimming a green-bin full of branches off the hedge.

(I was glad to see that at least one of the pansies I transplanted from the middle of the back wasteland to a garden bed appears to have survived and is putting up new growth. In my experience they are tough little plants.)

I have exhausted myself mentally at work. It looks like the pay rise I asked for isn't coming so I feel I have little choice but to to work more/better hours. But right now the extra time I am pushing myself to do is going on preparations for the final stage (going live) of a project I am no longer billing for because it went so far over estimate. It is one I am very emotionally involved in doing properly (and could cost the company a very valuable client if the final stage gets cocked up).

I have further exhausted myself mentally and emotionally dealing with the things which require these types of energy at home.

~~~
I am still receiving the alarms and updates of both what has most recently been looted from the Hall and the owner's continued inactivity to even meet their commitments to make the site safe after the fire. All I can say to questions about when we might go back - whether from members of our team or from our contact still there - is "not until it is safe". It is not going to be safe in the foreseeable future.

I had reason to go back to the photos from our first few visits looking for references for some of the stolen fittings, it's heartbreaking seeing even how beautiful the interior - and overgrowth free the exterior - it was then before 8ish years of dirt, damp and deliberate damage and neglect against our best attempts.

An overhaul of the website is one of the many things which need doing that I just haven't managed to get to. I will keep that history there as long as possible.

Meanwhile grief and anger pains rise in my chest with no outlet. While the Hall may be the obvious current source it's not like I'm unused to this state, it seems to have been part of me for most of my life. Keeping pain within so I don't lash out with it and hurt anyone else.

At our ceremony D. talked about how "nothing seems to rattle [me]"; it's just that I am very practiced at putting aside being pain as not being a productive thing right now and this skill is equally applicable to many other things which might get in the way of viewing a situation ... if not clearly at least practically.

But I also know that sometimes to deal with a pain or frustration and move on you have to take it off the shelf, feel it and accept it for what it is. Many, even most are trivial and easily discarded in retrospect. Some, not so much.

~~~
This story moved me greatly this morning,

https://thespinoff.co.nz/society/09-02-2020/a-magic-like-no-other/

Sometimes death comes for the old, and sometimes for the young. And sadly, like life, it rarely makes much sense when it does come.


Not because of any recent deaths; actually I think I am quite lucky to have reached my age without losing too many of my peers. (But Alex, Kirsty, Kaye+Martyn, Geoff immediately come to mind ...) but because I am constantly failing to keep in touch beyond the occasional FB connection even with people I dearly want to. We don't get to sit down - over a meal or board game perhaps - and have conversations about each others lives - not that I ever feel there is much to say about my own which (at least at the moment) doesn't devolve into self pity but I still want to know what is going on with you, the good and the bad.

~~~
D. just opened the door and passed in a plate of hot quiche full of goodness, and I am so grateful to have her in my life even with all the complications and responsibilities that entails.
marsden_online: (loved)
On January 11th D. and I proclaimed our commitment to each other in front of a gathering of family and friends. On January 13th we sorted out the paperwork in a registry wedding (which was planned for the 10th, but doofus here left it too late making the booking). From January 13th - 16th we were on honeymoon.

ExpandLead up )

ExpandCeremony and after )

ExpandWhat we did on our honeymoon )
marsden_online: (Default)
On Friday the 15th of March NZ had it's own mass-shooting(s). I was at an event nearby which was ended early (although we didn't known why at the time) and then returned to my workplace also only a couple of blocks from the worst event.

To start with there was only shock and sadness. Not shocked or surprised that something like this happened, like many others I considered a mass shooting in NZ only a matter of time, or at the direction in the violence was aimed. Just what you would expect from the immediacy of the event.

Once I had time to process things I also began to feel how lucky I am - not to have not been involved but almost the opposite

- the shooter was a blond, white male. I am also a blond white male, but I am at no risk of suffering any sort of "reprisal" because I happen to share one of these physical characteristics with him
- I did not need to spend the next days and nights worrying that there might have been another gunman still loose out there for whom I was a target. I do not need to worry that another radicalised individual might be out there planning a repeat or variation in which I will be a target, or even that just by walking down the street I might become a target of opportunity for someone equally full of hate and just a little less stable.
- my personal risk of being a victim of gun violence or indeed any sort of violence feels no more immediate than it did last week.

There was no anger at that time. There is still no anger towards the event. I believe that exhaustion from other areas of my life simply left me no energy to be angry. But then articles like this one:
At least five years of solid government engagement across a National-led and then a Labour-led government. We begged and pleaded, we demanded. We knocked on every door we could, we spoke at every forum we were invited to.

At a major security conference in February 2018, Aliya challenged the sector: if you can spend so much on surveilling our community, why can you not spend on preventative programmes?

and this one:
Planned and executed with complete impunity and without any hesitation, the massacre took place because the perpetrator, like so many others before him, felt a confidence that in our societies is afforded only to white men.

He felt this confidence, and was vindicated for it. As media, politicians, and everyday discourse focused on the threat of radicalisation supposedly harbored by Muslim communities – a suggestion that would now surely be farcical if its consequences weren’t so tragic – as the SIS and the GCSB were busy scouring the facebook accounts of Māori activists and Muslim youth, this man blithely and unashamedly made his violent intentions plain and clear, and visible for all to see.

I’ll never forget the many meetings and roundtables I attended, alongside other Muslim advocates and leaders, where we argued and pleaded, pointlessly it seems, with different government agencies to turn their attention from our communities and mosques to the real threats in this country. I’ll never forget the empty reassurances, let alone the smirking faces as someone dismissively joked, in reference to the far right and white supremacists in New Zealand: ‘it’s hard to take these guys seriously.’


... stirred the coals of a different anger. About our unquestionably white-centered "security" services, who would rather browbeat environmentalists and create phantoms of Māori or Islamic violence to chase than look into genuine threats to our citizens.

I wrote then (on Facebork)

"Up until now I haven't had it in me to feel angry about this situation. Now I am angry. At the so-called security services of this country and other agencies whose job it was to recognise and act on the concerns of these communities and who absolutely failed in that duty. In doing so they have failed not only the Moslem citizens of New Zealand but *all* of us and they should be held to account commensurately.

They won't be of course. They never are :( "

~~~
There have also been a lot of (white) people crying "this isn't us, this is not our New Zealand." I'm glad to say that there has come a great pushback against that in opinion pieces from white writers I respect as well as from less-white ones sharing their experiences.

Toby Morris summed it up in cartoon format here.

But if you have any doubt about the depth of racism and other isms in New Zealand society you only need to pause and imagine what the ... I'm going to use outcry as a moderate term for it ... would be if one of the "major" political parties were to elect or appoint as leader someone who was something other than a practicing or passes-for-lapsed Christian, or anyone clearly of other than Pākehā or Māori descent. The dogwhistles and allusions of loyalty to "somewhere else" which would permeate an election under those conditions.

Or to quote from the first article linked above:
I would ask you to picture this: what if the shooting had been a Muslim perpetrator, and it was 50 non-Muslim New Zealanders who had been shot? Would our community be receiving the same level of support that we have today?

Imagine what the media commentary would have been like. We would not have been able to leave our homes, the level of retaliatory attacks on our community would have been swift and immediate, and the police would have struggled to provide any meaningful protection.

Yet I can walk without fear.

~~~
On a final note there are of course people saying that the shooter should receive a death penalty, whether delivered formally or informally. I say that is too good for him, a martyrs end. He deserves to grow old in a place from which he can influence or harm no-one, watching New Zealand come together into a more integrated and caring nation despite of or even because of what he has done.

I believe that we do currently have the political leadership to act on the current mood and momentum for change but whether we actually mange to accomplish that better nation is left as an exercise for the reader.
marsden_online: (write)
Over at The Spinoff, Toby Morris has illustrated some of the proof that "Tough on crime" has failed.
Crime rates are low but reoffending rates are very high. 'Tough on crime' hasn't helped victims, has been damaging to families and communitiesand hasn't helped Māori who are still grossly overrepresented.
...
'Tough on Crime' has been proven to have the opposite effect to what it hopes to achieve. In 2018 it's like arguing for free cigarettes for hospital patients or that we should build healthy homes with asbestos.


Anyway this sparked some shower thoughts about why I am uncomfortable with the very phrase "tough on crime". And I think it's because the posture it adopts is one of a bully. The big kid on the block isn't a gentle giant out to help people, oh no, mess with him and he's going to bust you up. "Tough on crime" doesn't care if it is fair or just.

It is the language of oppression, and that's not what I want to hear from the apparatus of the state in "my" country. I would like to think I live in a country with run by representitves who care about the people they are reresenting, all of them.

And note how it's tough on crime, not tough on the causes of crime, for example poverty, disenfrachisement. Real ambulance (or police car) at the bottom of the cliff stuff here. Crime itself is good for business; if your someone who is in the business of building & staffing prisons, or other aspects of an overloaded justice system.
Look at the growth in spending: Law and Order is growing at almost twice tehe rate of governement spending, and three times faster than GDP


You could make a real difference in a lot of peoples lives with that money, people who wouldn't then find themselves trapped in a life where crime is a practical, least-worst option. But, and no need to pardon my cynicism, those aren't the sort of people who get to donate to political parties and rub shoulders with the people who make the rules. They're not "people like us". They are "other". They can be beaten on with impunity.

[deep breaths]

I think I would be more comfortable with a word like "firm". The concept of firmness is not tied to the implication of the use of force in the same way that "tough" is in this context. It allows for a wider range of options, as any parent can probably tell you. "Firm but fair" has the association of someone you don't want to mess with, but retains the association of justice (fairness) that "tough on crime" lacks.
marsden_online: (loved)
This past week/end I have been hosting my dear lady (D.) on a visit from Wellington. I organised this trip around Christchurch A&P Show Weekend (regional public holiday). Here are some of the highlights for posterity....

Expandsnip )
marsden_online: (write)
Topic warning: sexual harassment

Context: Yesterday a #metoo campaign to raise awareness of sexual harassment and assault started to spread on social media.
If all the people who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "Me, too." as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.

Expandcontent behind the cut )
marsden_online: (write)
After the election results came out I saw a lot of grief being expressed on Facebook, one particular form being people lashing out at any supposed right-aligned voters on their friends list and asking them to leave (there was a similar outpouring in 2014). More than one person has commented to me that they are uncomfortable seeing this level of vitriol expressed by their normally caring friends. I accept people's right to express their upset in this fashion but also doubt that there will be any lasting effect; for the simple reason that probably no-one in those friends lists did actually vote National.

There are a whole heap of fallacies tied up in the emotion these posts, often from people who IMO would normally know better. But the root of it is assuming that people like us are representative. We're not.

NZ's lauded "two degrees of separation" notwithstanding, practically all my NZ voting friends who are likely to be reading this, and all their voting friends, and all theirs are a drop in the bucket or NZ voters. We are not the people crammed at the bottom of Inequality Tower.

We mostly have some things in common which are luxuries to the larger portion of the population; for example the
- time
- skills and
- access to multiple sources

... to keep ourselves informed. And we do
- take an interest in politics
- seek out a variety of views even if we don't always agree with them
- can trace the cause and effect from policy to outcome
- we can critically examine the statements made during the campaign (and other times)
- typically have decided who we are going to vote for well before reaching the polling booth

For a sadly more realistic perspective on the level to which the median voter is informed, take this message from Emma who has been involved at the chalk face of a number of elections and was observing at a polling station this year.




Something I recall reading in previous years about the circumstances and psychology of the majority of voters - which or course I can't find now because google results are clogged with news about the election just been so I will have to paraphrase:
- politics isn't something thought about often; their immediate lives are choked with higher priorities (work, family, survival)
- the effect of government policy on their lives- especially negative effects - is often so removed from the policy or the implementation of the policy (especially over time) as to not be attributed
- outside "tribal" affiliations often have not decided who to vote for for before reaching the voting booth
- are going to look at the list of names/parties and remember only what they have heard/seen in the mainstream media and from their friends (who may be no better informed)
- in the end are probably going to go with what feels like the "safest" option

And this is why campaigns of fear, attack ads and misinformation like National ran this election, backed up by bold statements about how well things are going, work. If you are just getting by or you are maybe struggling a little but still have hope: change feels risky.
While according to all social indicators the state of country has been run down by the current government over the past three terms it is clear that the majority of people are not yet at the stage of voting for risk for the other likely reason - out of desperation.

(Ironically it probably speaks to the success of the last Labour government that the majority of New Zealanders who voted felt comfortable enough in their lives to take a chance on change.)

This is not helped IMO by the narrative that continues to prevail that someones circumstances are somehow a reflection of their own efforts and worth as a "productive member of society". This narrative greatly aids the government of the day (whichever side it comes from) in disclaiming responsibility for those not doing well (while of course claiming credit for the circumstances of those who are doing well), and is why elections in NZ have so often been the sitting governments to lose rather than the oppositions to win; another hangover from the continued insistence on framing things in an old FPP two-party style manner rather than a coalition based MMP style manner :(
marsden_online: (write)
These evening I posted a lengthy comment on a Stuff.co.nz opinion piece titled Andy Towers: New Zealand doesn't have a culture of youth drinking, my words stewing overnight and this morning after the first wave of commenters apparently failed to read and comprehend even the first two paragraphs. I'm happy to say some more intelligent voices had arisen in the meantime.

Quoting substantial chunks of the piece because I don't expect the above link to last forever...
I'm tired of headlines in recent years declaring New Zealand has a "youth drinking culture".

I'm tired because this claim is a lie. Not the part about youth drinking; that definitely happens. The lie is that we have a youth drinking culture. Drinking is not a 'youth culture' issue; it's a New Zealand culture issue.

A potted history of New Zealand shows we've always had an alcohol problem...
...
In 2012 we had an opportunity to change. The Law Commission had reviewed our history of drinking and it recommended substantial law changes to reduce alcohol-related harm. These recommendations were wholeheartedly supported by much of the general public, many community groups, and almost all health professionals and the police.

What happened? The politicians we voted for decided against change. All of the evidence-based recommendations for change were ignored, including those that would reduce harmful outcomes in youth.

At no time have any of today's youth voted on legislation that has given rise to our current binge drinking culture...
...
Is there any light at the end of this tunnel? Yes. Recent statistics show youth appear to be changing our country's drinking culture by themselves. Ministry of Health statistics show the proportion of past year drinkers among those aged 15-24 dropped from 84 per cent in 2006 to 76 per cent last year, with the most substantial drop among those aged 15-17 (from 75 per cent down to 57 per cent).
...
Youth drinking culture should not be something we complain about anymore. We should instead complain about New Zealand's drinking culture. We are responsible for the drinking culture that our youth are navigating but they at least appear to be contemplating change.

Should current trends continue, youth in the 2020s might well be correct to complain about the appalling drinking culture of middle-aged and older New Zealanders.

My comment:

No one denies we have a problem with young people unable or unwilling to match their drinking to their limits, and the strain this puts on our health services and communities. But to blame them for following in the footsteps of older relatives, to somehow "know better" despite their constant exposure to this being the way things are done when you reach a certain age is to deny our own responsibility. It is to pass it off with a genial, perhaps nostalgia tinted "well that what I was like at that age" instead of standing up responsibly and saying to the next generations "I did these things and they were /stupid/ things, please be better."

To draw parallels with another article* I read very recently (on another site) it is like blaming tenants for the state of the countries cold, damp housing stock when it is ...
- landlords and
- a succession of governments who put the least-well-off in our society last, backed up by
- a cultural belief that living in an icy or mould-infested flat is a rite of passage that happens to everyone when they go out on their own so people just need to harden up
... which keep it in that state.

[* link was not included in original comment to improve the chances of making it through moderation but I will put it here The Spinoff: The other housing crisis]

Preloading has been mentioned ... this is known to have increased alongside tighter regulation about who can be served and the growing expense of bar drinks compared to buying from the supermarkets or bottle stores. Without addressing the /reason/ people are drinking (I suggest because it is one of the few socially accepted/sanctioned ways to be seen to rebel) making it harder for them to drink in what should be safe spaces simply moves the activity elsewhere. Much like passing a law forbidding the homeless to take shelter in a particular area does nothing to address the actual social ills which have left them not even looked after by our so-called social welfare system, simply lets people feel that something has been done. The problem still exists, it has just been moved "out of sight, out of mind".

Until we (and that umbrella is going to be pretty much include everyone reading this article) stop implicitly or explicitly allowing intoxication to be used as a social get-out-of-jail-free card to excuse abusive (self or other) behaviour, *whatever the age group* young people are going to continue going through their growing years immersed in the idea that it's OK to drink heavily and do stupid shit once you hit a certain age, and the problem is not going to go away.

Fortunately as the author of the piece notes the generations coming through now may be on the way to changing that culture for their kids, who may be our grandkids ang great-grandkids. Will you help or hinder them?
marsden_online: (loved)
It is ANZAC day here in New Zealand, the annual public "holiday" to commemorate and honor those who died fighting in "our" name in military service. In practice this means primarily World Wars I and II with in recent years the occasional nod creeping in to Vietnam or more recent actions in the Middle East.

There are links I have shared on FB over the past few years that this year I am going to round up here before putting down more of my thoughts

#lestweforget
~~~

Cliffs of Gallipoli [Sabaton]
"There is no enemy, there is no victory
Only boys who lost their lives in the sand
Young men were sacrificed their name are carved in stone and kept alive
And forever we will honour the memory of them""


19 things you need to know about ANZAC Day (that we should not be proud of)
http://thedailyblog.co.nz/2016/04/25/19-things-you-need-to-know-about-anzac-day/

The Pencilsword remembers the Maori Land Wars - arguably more important to NZs history and identity but often forgotten
http://thewireless.co.nz/articles/the-pencilsword-lest-we-forget

The Making of Gallipoli into a Marketable Memory
http://werewolf.co.nz/2015/04/whats-to-commemorate/

I was only 19 [Redgum]
"And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And night time's just a jungle dark and a barking M.16?
And what's this rash that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me - I was only nineteen"


~~~
"Lest we forget" means different things to different people. For some it is about the family who went to war whether by choice or otherwise and didn't come back. For some it is about the need to be prepared to go to war "for the right reasons" (these reasons vary).

For me it means
a. Being aware that
-- wars past and present are not times of glory and righteousness as presented by the media and spin doctors, but of horror and death

-- that the amounts spent on military adventurism by western economies would go a long way to giving the oft-struggling citizens of those countries(arguably the losers and casualties of a form of civil /economic/ warfare which has taken place of the intervening decades) a decent standard of living. Food, healthcare, accommodation, the freedom to be productive rather than just trying to survive.

b. Saying #notinmyname when my government continues to choose to hire out our military "defence forces" especially in a time when modern military conflict often seems to mean
-- a technologically superior force operating on behalf of interests who are posed no significant threat by the other side
-- sowing death with machines which doe not need to have human compassion or judgement drilled out of them, dissociation of their operators enabled by a safe distance
-- inflicting civilian casualties and recording them as "enemy combatants" for simply being present

c. That the best way to not become involved in a war against a nation with a "morally bankrupt" government is for people to stand up, be critical and questioning, and prevent their government from becoming that sort of institution.

Every. Day.

~~~
War (What is it good for?) [Edwin Starr]
marsden_online: (write)
People often comment on how I apparently get so much done despite my depression issues (low energy and extended sleeping hours). Despite the clickbait title, this article which came through my feedreader the other day actually describes it pretty well, although I've never really considered it this formally.

How To Stay Amazingly Productive On Low Energy Days
There are two types of days in the life of every ittybiz owner. You have your “good days”, where you stay productive, get a lot of cool shit done and it seems like everything is going great. You can’t be stopped. You’re on fire with how much you’re doing, and how easy it feels.

Then there are your “bad days”, when you just can’t even. Your energy is low, you can’t seem to think straight, and no matter how many items were on your to-do list, they all seem to still be there – undone – when the day is over.
...
Your life and your business start to get a lot better when you shift from thinking about “good” and “bad” days and instead see them as two separate parts of a cycle.

There’s the “flow” part of the cycle, when your energy is high, your brain is working at its best, and you can easily do things that require creativity or focus. You could call this a high energy day.

Then there’s the “ebb” part of the cycle, when your energy drops, your brain checks out, and it seems hard to do anything. You could call this a low energy day.

There’s nothing wrong with this cycle. Ebb isn’t “bad”. It’s just ebb. You can’t be high-energy all the time just like you can’t be awake all the time. Ebb times are where your brain and body recharge so that flow can come later.
...
You have to start choosing to do flow activities when you’re in a place of flow, and ebb activities when you’re in a place of ebb.

Ebbs only feel like a problem when you’re trying to do things that belong in the flow category.

You can get an amazing amount done in the ebb times, if you simply choose ebb-appropriate activities instead.

(You’ll also get back into your flow state sooner, what without all that energy spent trying to shove a square peg into a round hole.)

But first, you have to know the difference between the two.
...

There are some decent tips on how to make the best of the different times at the link.

Many many of the things I do are, for me, ebb or ebbish activities. They don't necessarily take a lot of brainpower or much energy to keep ticking over step-by-step. Which is good given that as we know I am constitutionally unable to remain inactive for any significant period of time outside of unconsciousness.

Actually I deliberately try to break even larger things down to many smaller ebbish steps if possible, because my full on flow periods are few and far between, although this is itself a flowish task and I have to remember to slow myself down and actually do the break-up (and make a list) rather than charging on ahead trying to complete the full task until I hit the crash.

I do have to keep a physical/digital to-do list, actually I have several in various forms, because at ebb times it can be really hard to think or remember what I might be doing next.

One of the signs that I am actually "getting better" is finding myself with flow energy more frequently. However "overdoing it" and relapses for day to weeks on end are still not uncommon.

I am also aware that the amount of energy I have in an ebb period is still more than many people have in a flow period. When people comment on the amount I get done I feel guilty that I have somehow misrepresented my condition as being worse than it is, particularly since I know many people who fare far worse. It would be easy to fall into the trap of feeling that this makes me an impostor with nothing to complain about, rather than accepting that being less-unwell is still, unwell.

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