![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I had a dream last night in which my father gave me three useful pieces of business advice. I can't remember the 2nd and 3rd, which is annoying the heck out of me, but the first was "do what you love".
The dream was set in the context of working on the farm (in the woolshed) which I did as a kid. And as a kid I didn't expect to do anything else when I grew up except work on a farm. Of course as it turned out I'm the non-agriculturally minded one of the family and my life has taken quite a different path.
So since I'm in the midst of a motivational desert at the moment, what is it I love or have loved doing?
- building websites. Especially sites that mean something more than just business to somebody. I haven't had one of those in a while now. The last one was actually a really big negtive because while it meant a lot to the guy, he also didn't have a clue and was a really difficult client. I have another site I'm supposed to be working on for him right now, and I'm really having trouble making myself do it.
- I can't even get up the enthusiasm to get on with one of my own projects which I used to be really looking forward to having the time to start.
- of course not being able to focus on anything web related for more than about 15 minutes at best is not really helping here.
- gaming. I used to breath gaming material the same way I used to breath web-dev material. Now that enthusiasm is like a switch - it flicks on for the Tuesday game I'm playing in and then it's gone again.
- The campaign I was going to run this year - I've been planning to run it for several years, now I can't even bring myself to start writing up the major NPCs, or a background handout for the players.
- even board gaming - I just don't have the stamina for more than a couple of games in a row any more.
- organising events (eg BoD) - aka I love it when a plan comes together. I so -want- to be running something right now actually, maybe starting a political movement, but it's like standing at the top of a precipice. I *know* I don't have the energy, that jumping into something like that would destroy me.
- driving people around. This is one of the few things in my life at the moment I really still enjoy. It makes me feel useful. I have toyed with the idea of becoming a taxi driver, but I think that making it a job would end up sucking a lot of the enjoyment out of it. I just don't do it for financial reward.
- likewise photography - I've thought about taking proper steps to get better at this but I'm really happy just being an amateur people-snapper and feeling that people get some enjoyment from my galleries.
There are no conclusions here, just more proof that I'm currently screwed.
The dream was set in the context of working on the farm (in the woolshed) which I did as a kid. And as a kid I didn't expect to do anything else when I grew up except work on a farm. Of course as it turned out I'm the non-agriculturally minded one of the family and my life has taken quite a different path.
So since I'm in the midst of a motivational desert at the moment, what is it I love or have loved doing?
- building websites. Especially sites that mean something more than just business to somebody. I haven't had one of those in a while now. The last one was actually a really big negtive because while it meant a lot to the guy, he also didn't have a clue and was a really difficult client. I have another site I'm supposed to be working on for him right now, and I'm really having trouble making myself do it.
- I can't even get up the enthusiasm to get on with one of my own projects which I used to be really looking forward to having the time to start.
- of course not being able to focus on anything web related for more than about 15 minutes at best is not really helping here.
- gaming. I used to breath gaming material the same way I used to breath web-dev material. Now that enthusiasm is like a switch - it flicks on for the Tuesday game I'm playing in and then it's gone again.
- The campaign I was going to run this year - I've been planning to run it for several years, now I can't even bring myself to start writing up the major NPCs, or a background handout for the players.
- even board gaming - I just don't have the stamina for more than a couple of games in a row any more.
- organising events (eg BoD) - aka I love it when a plan comes together. I so -want- to be running something right now actually, maybe starting a political movement, but it's like standing at the top of a precipice. I *know* I don't have the energy, that jumping into something like that would destroy me.
- driving people around. This is one of the few things in my life at the moment I really still enjoy. It makes me feel useful. I have toyed with the idea of becoming a taxi driver, but I think that making it a job would end up sucking a lot of the enjoyment out of it. I just don't do it for financial reward.
- likewise photography - I've thought about taking proper steps to get better at this but I'm really happy just being an amateur people-snapper and feeling that people get some enjoyment from my galleries.
There are no conclusions here, just more proof that I'm currently screwed.
