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It's the anniversary of my starting anti-depressants. I was going to take an introspective look at the past year but I've already written two longish posts tonight so instead I'm just taking a quick look around at where I am now. And it's looking pretty good.
For example
- just these past two days not only have I done my aimed-for hours at work but left feeling that I have accomplished something in them. (Actually today I caught myself going "how is it only 2:30pm" based on how much I felt I had got done to that point.) As my work output has improved I have learned to take breaks and not feel guilty about them; and not to stress/get frustrated (as much) about how much I do or do not seem to be achieving.
- on top of that both days have had errands accomplished after work and the energy left for hours spent blogging in the evening. I do not feel exhausted. I may get on top of my backlog of things to write and do yet.
- although I do bear in mind that Sunday was a bad day energy and motivation wise. I must still be careful not to push my limits too much or I will surely pay for it.
- I am actively planning to go and do something which might be considered ""cultural" in the near future - by myself if necessary.
I look at myself now and I see someone I have not been before - combining the years spent developing a measure of maturity and goals that seemed out of reach with a renewed energy and capacity to do something with it. The path ahead is still long and rugged - but for now it is also bright.
For example
- just these past two days not only have I done my aimed-for hours at work but left feeling that I have accomplished something in them. (Actually today I caught myself going "how is it only 2:30pm" based on how much I felt I had got done to that point.) As my work output has improved I have learned to take breaks and not feel guilty about them; and not to stress/get frustrated (as much) about how much I do or do not seem to be achieving.
- on top of that both days have had errands accomplished after work and the energy left for hours spent blogging in the evening. I do not feel exhausted. I may get on top of my backlog of things to write and do yet.
- although I do bear in mind that Sunday was a bad day energy and motivation wise. I must still be careful not to push my limits too much or I will surely pay for it.
- I am actively planning to go and do something which might be considered ""cultural" in the near future - by myself if necessary.
I look at myself now and I see someone I have not been before - combining the years spent developing a measure of maturity and goals that seemed out of reach with a renewed energy and capacity to do something with it. The path ahead is still long and rugged - but for now it is also bright.
