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On Conformity
Mar. 21st, 2003 07:16 pmMy life has entered another of those stages where I begin to feel pressured both to become someone that other people feel I should be and the flip side of the coin, pressured to continue to present myself as the same person that others (rightly or wrongly) believe I am.
I don't like this feeling. Being what/who others want me to be has never been high on my list of priorities. In fact, simply fitting in has always been difficult for me. At the same time, being the person _I_ would like to be has tended to prove equally difficult.
Over the next 12 months there are going to be several major changes in my life. (More on this in a later post - maybe tomorrow, maybe next month) I +would+ like to take this opportunity to change some other things about myself as well, at least the parts of me that others see. The persona I have come to project fits now like an old, comfortable pair of shoes, and there are many things which I am happy with. But there are other sides to my personality which rarely see the outside, and it may well be time they did.
However, I have never been one to do something just for the sake of doing it, especially if things are for the most part working out. So it will take much effort to break the habits of so many years, and slough the second-skin that has itself become an article of conformation to the world around me.
Ahead lies catalysis. However, the end products are still uncertain. The reaction may yet prove completely reversible.
MArsden
---
Torturing metaphors since [classified]
Addendum: The last few times I have found mself of necessity shoe shopping I was quite unable to find anything that I really liked, and settled for some "best available option". I'm kinda picky about my footwear.
I don't like this feeling. Being what/who others want me to be has never been high on my list of priorities. In fact, simply fitting in has always been difficult for me. At the same time, being the person _I_ would like to be has tended to prove equally difficult.
Over the next 12 months there are going to be several major changes in my life. (More on this in a later post - maybe tomorrow, maybe next month) I +would+ like to take this opportunity to change some other things about myself as well, at least the parts of me that others see. The persona I have come to project fits now like an old, comfortable pair of shoes, and there are many things which I am happy with. But there are other sides to my personality which rarely see the outside, and it may well be time they did.
However, I have never been one to do something just for the sake of doing it, especially if things are for the most part working out. So it will take much effort to break the habits of so many years, and slough the second-skin that has itself become an article of conformation to the world around me.
Ahead lies catalysis. However, the end products are still uncertain. The reaction may yet prove completely reversible.
MArsden
---
Torturing metaphors since [classified]
Addendum: The last few times I have found mself of necessity shoe shopping I was quite unable to find anything that I really liked, and settled for some "best available option". I'm kinda picky about my footwear.
