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Apparently back in June after we moved house it looked like I might get time to catch up on some posting. Ahahaha....[sobs]
For reference I still haven't managed to process the galleries from our family trip to Australia in April; and most of the trip itself has faded from memory. Although I had a laptop with me - because I had to be available for work - I failed to make regular notes, partly expecting everything to be still fresh and partly a distinct lack of spoons. Then we came back with Covid and into the middle of buying a house...
I also haven't managed to post about the unexpected loss of Belle at the end of April. She was a linchpin of several overlapping social groups including KAOS and the SCA; a friend, mentor and inspiration to many.
Our wider social group also took several other hits in short order over the first half of the year, and another dear friend has also been literally laid up with unexpected cancer and complications. I've personally just (December) had another spot removed from my leg at the Dr's insistence, but it turned out to be only a "dyplastic naevus" ... no melanoma.
It took 3 attempts to get into the surgery; the first assigned appointment was going to be a week D was away so I needed to be able to stay on my feet; I came down with Covid (again) the week before the second; third time was the charm.
While I'm writing about loss; our male kitten, Corby, was hit by a car and killed in October. He was less than a year old; we'd only had him about 9 months.
This absolutely shattered D, as without her consciously realising it he had become her therapy cat and his presence lounging around and snuggling had been a lifeline throughout our other mid-year troubles (which I'm not further detailing here, but they are ongoing situations/stress as well).
We acquired another cat in November; Callie (Calliope), slightly older than Robyn and Corby. She is a very social cat, but not an "attach to one person cat" and also an "must investigate every change in environment" (like someone coming into the room) cat rather than a "stay in one place" cat, so she hasn't been filling the gap. Also it's been a long road getting Robyn to accept her, although Callie desperately wanted to play she has also been well socialised and (mostly) respected Robyn's boundaries. It's only been the last couple of weeks that things have really progressed, to the point today where D was able to play with them both out on the lawn and Robyn even took a little run and a stalk towards Callie.
With D functionally out-of-action from one thing or another for much of the year I've been having to try and shoulder her around-the-house workload as well as my own (and frequently compensating for the teenagers not attending to theirs either); on top of providing transport to/from appointments and trying to keep up enough hours at work that we didn't have to start letting bills slide past their due date. I've had to turn to the bank of Mum twice for big expenses; once when my solicitor required a "retainer" up front before starting some work (despite never having done so before and an impeccable payment record) and again when the Prius needed new tyres /and/ bodywork to pass its warrant. As a person now into their second half-century having to do so really doesn't sit comfortably; and that's only partially due to societal expectations around being the provider for the family.
My personal (accessible) financial reserves have been run dry; in a small bit of good news I'm getting a pay rise in the new year; but unless I can increase the hours I can manage to actually work it's too small (after tax and probable WFF reduction) to make a noticeable difference. And this year there have been many weeks where I've burnt leave to make the minimum hours we need to meet budget; that option is also running out.
Work itself has been OK; there has been variety between small easy projects and long, under-specced projects and work has mostly left me to prioritise achieve both at whatever best rate I can. Our (open plan) office space was drastically reduced this year; we had more than we needed for our current staff (putting aside the real need for at least one more developer) and the company we share one floor of a small office building with needed more space, so renovations occurred. I've adapted to the closer-quarters, but I've also frequently been working at times when I'm the only one in the office.
This overload has run into the NY break; we have all the teens for Xmas and so there is an additional layer of things that I am expected to be on call for. I am exhausted and I think I've managed about two hours of what could be considered real, no expectations rest by way of an afternoon nap yesterday (from which I woke up to an upset wife and errands to the supermarket, which promptly undid it.) Very few of the things that I planned to get done around the house over the past week (things which I have been trying to find the time and energy for for months) have been achieved, let alone any of the things I want to do for myself.
For most of the past several months I've been having to clamp down on my feelings almost constantly to keep from snapping at every imposition or request; going nuclear would not help anything.
~~~
There has been some gaming this year. A ran an excellent Girl By Moonlight game including D, E and I while he was in the country for an extended New Year (though I still - and probably always will struggle with the relationship-heavy style of roleplay). Partway through the year D and I played in a short-lived online Pathfinder 2E game run by S, which I did manage to post my character background from; and subsequent to that we've been playing in an irregular (due to player commitments) Lancer game with mostly the same people.
There is a plan for household D&D game; D & E are keen; R & L expressed reluctant willingness to play but have refused to actually come to the table -- after I spent a substantial amount of time on characters for them and a quick opening scenario (because R's attention span is likely to be under an hour). But there's a dynamic - we'll see if R is more willing once L goes back to Wellington. I've changed tack and found some modules online that I can modify for just D & E's characters.
We've managed to get enough of the household together or had people around for food and physical board games a few times; leaning towards Forbidden Isle (a favourite of R, not so much of mine), Seven Wonders, Splendor and KingDomino.
Computer wise there has been Master of Orion - Conquer the Stars (solo or with D), rationed progress in Hero Wars which remains my determinedly carved out daily attempt at personal time, and BGA where D and I have mostly been playing Terraforming Mars.
For reference I still haven't managed to process the galleries from our family trip to Australia in April; and most of the trip itself has faded from memory. Although I had a laptop with me - because I had to be available for work - I failed to make regular notes, partly expecting everything to be still fresh and partly a distinct lack of spoons. Then we came back with Covid and into the middle of buying a house...
I also haven't managed to post about the unexpected loss of Belle at the end of April. She was a linchpin of several overlapping social groups including KAOS and the SCA; a friend, mentor and inspiration to many.
Our wider social group also took several other hits in short order over the first half of the year, and another dear friend has also been literally laid up with unexpected cancer and complications. I've personally just (December) had another spot removed from my leg at the Dr's insistence, but it turned out to be only a "dyplastic naevus" ... no melanoma.
The term dysplastic naevus is best used for a naevus with a specific microscopic appearance. Only a minority of clinically atypical naevi fulfil microscopic criteria for dysplastic naevus.
It took 3 attempts to get into the surgery; the first assigned appointment was going to be a week D was away so I needed to be able to stay on my feet; I came down with Covid (again) the week before the second; third time was the charm.
While I'm writing about loss; our male kitten, Corby, was hit by a car and killed in October. He was less than a year old; we'd only had him about 9 months.
Horrible news. At some point this morning (after 5am, when he woke me up to demand out) Corby was hit and killed by a vehicle. Someone kind saw him by the side of the road and called the phone number on his tag, then dropped him off to our address.
I've buried him in a shady corner of the garden near where he liked to snooze, and made a little cairn of some of the stones I dug out in the process. Before I need to dig another hole here I need to acquire a crowbar, or digging spike or whatever the proper name for it is. At Dalwood we had a relatively soft, if rootbound, bank, but here it is /all/ clay and stones, and just a spade is not the right tool for the job.
To add insult to grief, while I was digging one of the pet insurance companies we got quotes from at the beginning of the year chose today to follow up again with a phone call.
This absolutely shattered D, as without her consciously realising it he had become her therapy cat and his presence lounging around and snuggling had been a lifeline throughout our other mid-year troubles (which I'm not further detailing here, but they are ongoing situations/stress as well).
We acquired another cat in November; Callie (Calliope), slightly older than Robyn and Corby. She is a very social cat, but not an "attach to one person cat" and also an "must investigate every change in environment" (like someone coming into the room) cat rather than a "stay in one place" cat, so she hasn't been filling the gap. Also it's been a long road getting Robyn to accept her, although Callie desperately wanted to play she has also been well socialised and (mostly) respected Robyn's boundaries. It's only been the last couple of weeks that things have really progressed, to the point today where D was able to play with them both out on the lawn and Robyn even took a little run and a stalk towards Callie.
With D functionally out-of-action from one thing or another for much of the year I've been having to try and shoulder her around-the-house workload as well as my own (and frequently compensating for the teenagers not attending to theirs either); on top of providing transport to/from appointments and trying to keep up enough hours at work that we didn't have to start letting bills slide past their due date. I've had to turn to the bank of Mum twice for big expenses; once when my solicitor required a "retainer" up front before starting some work (despite never having done so before and an impeccable payment record) and again when the Prius needed new tyres /and/ bodywork to pass its warrant. As a person now into their second half-century having to do so really doesn't sit comfortably; and that's only partially due to societal expectations around being the provider for the family.
My personal (accessible) financial reserves have been run dry; in a small bit of good news I'm getting a pay rise in the new year; but unless I can increase the hours I can manage to actually work it's too small (after tax and probable WFF reduction) to make a noticeable difference. And this year there have been many weeks where I've burnt leave to make the minimum hours we need to meet budget; that option is also running out.
Work itself has been OK; there has been variety between small easy projects and long, under-specced projects and work has mostly left me to prioritise achieve both at whatever best rate I can. Our (open plan) office space was drastically reduced this year; we had more than we needed for our current staff (putting aside the real need for at least one more developer) and the company we share one floor of a small office building with needed more space, so renovations occurred. I've adapted to the closer-quarters, but I've also frequently been working at times when I'm the only one in the office.
This overload has run into the NY break; we have all the teens for Xmas and so there is an additional layer of things that I am expected to be on call for. I am exhausted and I think I've managed about two hours of what could be considered real, no expectations rest by way of an afternoon nap yesterday (from which I woke up to an upset wife and errands to the supermarket, which promptly undid it.) Very few of the things that I planned to get done around the house over the past week (things which I have been trying to find the time and energy for for months) have been achieved, let alone any of the things I want to do for myself.
For most of the past several months I've been having to clamp down on my feelings almost constantly to keep from snapping at every imposition or request; going nuclear would not help anything.
~~~
There has been some gaming this year. A ran an excellent Girl By Moonlight game including D, E and I while he was in the country for an extended New Year (though I still - and probably always will struggle with the relationship-heavy style of roleplay). Partway through the year D and I played in a short-lived online Pathfinder 2E game run by S, which I did manage to post my character background from; and subsequent to that we've been playing in an irregular (due to player commitments) Lancer game with mostly the same people.
There is a plan for household D&D game; D & E are keen; R & L expressed reluctant willingness to play but have refused to actually come to the table -- after I spent a substantial amount of time on characters for them and a quick opening scenario (because R's attention span is likely to be under an hour). But there's a dynamic - we'll see if R is more willing once L goes back to Wellington. I've changed tack and found some modules online that I can modify for just D & E's characters.
We've managed to get enough of the household together or had people around for food and physical board games a few times; leaning towards Forbidden Isle (a favourite of R, not so much of mine), Seven Wonders, Splendor and KingDomino.
Computer wise there has been Master of Orion - Conquer the Stars (solo or with D), rationed progress in Hero Wars which remains my determinedly carved out daily attempt at personal time, and BGA where D and I have mostly been playing Terraforming Mars.
Tags:
- angst,
- board games,
- board gaming,
- brain dump,
- car,
- cat,
- computer games,
- covid-19,
- death,
- depression,
- family,
- games,
- health,
- house,
- introspective,
- life,
- link,
- money,
- relationship,
- rip,
- roleplaying,
- rpg,
- sanity,
- vent,
- work
