marsden_online: (Sisters)
The same thing we do every day, fight the ennui and despair with distractions* until we are past exhaustion."
"But what if we are past exhaustion** to start with brain?"
"Then we're fucked, and not in the good way***."

* Lying in bed hampster-wheeling the contents of this post for a couple of hours before I managed to drag myself up for breakfast and to dump it here was a distraction, but not a very good one.

** I'm hurting inside (my chest primarily) a lot at the moment, not uncommon for this time of year. Trying to be mindful and just let it be rather than trying to quash/silence/bottle it up, but it's draining. As we know the parts of the brain involved are the same ones as having an actual injury #walkingwounded

*** Being fucked in the good way would be a wonderful distraction, but as usual even if I could get over myself to ask someone I still don't know of anyone meeting all the preconditions of
a) interested/amenable/likely to consent
b) available
c) that /I'm/ attracted to
d) not well outside the bounds of my ethics and better judgement


Still I am out of bed now and there is a small list of chores which both need to and can be accomplished today.

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