"It doesn't hurt to ask"

[marsden_online]

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/05/it-doesnt-hurt-to-ask.html

Actually, it does hurt. It does hurt to ask the wrong way, to ask without preparation, to ask without permission. It hurts because you never get another chance to ask right.

Permission is a big reason I don't ask for things. It can be very hard to tell if you have permission. I try to err on the side of caution and still screw up.

It hurts to fail, too. Is the risk worth the potential reward?

Comments

[bigdee.livejournal.com]

I often find that it is indeed better to avoid taking the risk, unless there are some mighty good reasons for thinking the results will be favourable. The only downside is that as you become more optimistic or hopeful, there's an increasingly long way to fall if it goes badly.

[meataxe.livejournal.com]

Of course sometimes you're never going to have an opportunity to ask that person again in which case nothing ventured, nothing gained. Also some things you have to ask just so you won't spend a lifetime wondering what if, I've had one of those.