Why I don't make a "goal" out of becoming not-single

This is probably going to be one of those posts which comes across as being terribly self-pitying, but this is my blog and I want to unpack some stuff. It is sparked by another online thread containing a decent signal of peoples lived experiences and wisdom which I intend to pull some other bits out of in another post.

Summary: Actively pursuing someone would be unacceptably coercive; the shotgun approach to dating would require more emotional energy than I am prepared to invest; I want to feel that someone is interested in /me/ so I am looking for someone to at least make an approach / respond clearly to the approach I make and if they don't then we're back to the first point.
( snip )