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Last pay day I posted this to my Facebook
It quickly occurred to me that this might be read as a bit "tone deaf" or "or the nose" by many of my less-well-off friends and an explanatory comment was in order.
It is important to me to examine and remember this experience and this feeling for better empathy with those around me; hopefully this privileged self-indulgence doesn't come over too badly.
~~~
To start, as I am generally well off what was unusual about this situation was not
- the size or occurrence of the bill which was quarterly rates, regular and predictable
- or the amount I earned for the week, which was only a little above my running average
... but the fact that I needed to earn the money /before/ I could pay the bill (without taking on debt) and that near it's due date. /Normally/ I have the money accumulated to be able to make payment the week the bill arrives (last month it had been diverted to more immediate needs) and so
- the closeness of the numbers doesn't really register*; money in, money out not necessarily in that order; and
- I still conceptually/emotionally have the "rest" of the week's paycheck to spend on other expenses rather than dipping into my reserve
Even had I not earned sufficient last week I am still in the position of having a positive reserve I could dip into to top it up or drawing on my overdraft facility, confident in the knowledge that this sum could be rebuilt / paid off again in a week or two.
I am also not in the position of
- risking eviction for not paying my rent (alternatively receiving notice with no time to accumulate bond for a new place), or
- possibly having my power disconnected, or
- not being able to afford medication or to eat or to properly care for a loved one or
... and so forth. But these are all things faced by people around me. They live not with the mild discomfort I feel occasionally having to dip into my reserve (and that discomfort only because I am /really/ serious about money) but weekly or daily stress over if they will break even this time, because they have nothing left in reserve and little to no hope of building one in the foreseeable future.
I don't ever want to experience that first hand for myself; I've had years enough to observe what it can do to people. (And to feel a deep admiration for those who continue to keep on keeping on rather than giving in to despair and pain.)
But it is valuable to have the occasional reminder of years when I was not this well off, and how it felt when I did worry about money and the future (if I even had one...); it is valuable to have that come into my life once in a while and refresh my empathy and my determination to aid others onward when a practical opportunity presents itself.
~~~
* tangent. When I am doing rough mental budgeting for a period of a few months ahead I do count the rates as equivalent to roughly one week of work (the mathematically inclined will already have inferred this means they take roughly 1/13th of my (after tax) income. Which sum, for where I live and what I (and my friends in CCC subsidised housing) get, I think is a pretty good deal.
I regularly do this with many costs or potential expenditures as a way to get a sense of proportion; breaking them down into weeks, days or even hours of income.
By some coincidence the amount I have earned this week (after tax) is within $5 of the bill I have to pay pretty much as soon as that money lands in my account.
It quickly occurred to me that this might be read as a bit "tone deaf" or "or the nose" by many of my less-well-off friends and an explanatory comment was in order.
I realise this situation or worse is the weekly reality for a great many people, without the buffer I have to meet other expenses over the coming week. It does me no harm to think more carefully about their experience and my spending for a bit.
It is important to me to examine and remember this experience and this feeling for better empathy with those around me; hopefully this privileged self-indulgence doesn't come over too badly.
~~~
To start, as I am generally well off what was unusual about this situation was not
- the size or occurrence of the bill which was quarterly rates, regular and predictable
- or the amount I earned for the week, which was only a little above my running average
... but the fact that I needed to earn the money /before/ I could pay the bill (without taking on debt) and that near it's due date. /Normally/ I have the money accumulated to be able to make payment the week the bill arrives (last month it had been diverted to more immediate needs) and so
- the closeness of the numbers doesn't really register*; money in, money out not necessarily in that order; and
- I still conceptually/emotionally have the "rest" of the week's paycheck to spend on other expenses rather than dipping into my reserve
Even had I not earned sufficient last week I am still in the position of having a positive reserve I could dip into to top it up or drawing on my overdraft facility, confident in the knowledge that this sum could be rebuilt / paid off again in a week or two.
I am also not in the position of
- risking eviction for not paying my rent (alternatively receiving notice with no time to accumulate bond for a new place), or
- possibly having my power disconnected, or
- not being able to afford medication or to eat or to properly care for a loved one or
... and so forth. But these are all things faced by people around me. They live not with the mild discomfort I feel occasionally having to dip into my reserve (and that discomfort only because I am /really/ serious about money) but weekly or daily stress over if they will break even this time, because they have nothing left in reserve and little to no hope of building one in the foreseeable future.
I don't ever want to experience that first hand for myself; I've had years enough to observe what it can do to people. (And to feel a deep admiration for those who continue to keep on keeping on rather than giving in to despair and pain.)
But it is valuable to have the occasional reminder of years when I was not this well off, and how it felt when I did worry about money and the future (if I even had one...); it is valuable to have that come into my life once in a while and refresh my empathy and my determination to aid others onward when a practical opportunity presents itself.
~~~
* tangent. When I am doing rough mental budgeting for a period of a few months ahead I do count the rates as equivalent to roughly one week of work (the mathematically inclined will already have inferred this means they take roughly 1/13th of my (after tax) income. Which sum, for where I live and what I (and my friends in CCC subsidised housing) get, I think is a pretty good deal.
I regularly do this with many costs or potential expenditures as a way to get a sense of proportion; breaking them down into weeks, days or even hours of income.
