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For several months D. & I have been making the arrangements to have a commitment ceremony (wedding but without the paperwork)* early next year. Dress organised, ring #2 organised, venue booked, deposits down on things like hair and make up, invitations in design ...
Although we'd come to the agreement to have a "formal occasion" organically, D. still insisted that at some point beforehand I needed to formally ask her, along with a suitable bri^H^H^H gift. She had managed to find out that I had a ring (aka #1) in the works and was getting antsy about the delay. (There was an issue with the setting).
Anyway Saturday last week was moving day. After very a long day of trucking stuff to the dump (two loads in a little box truck) and from her old flat to what is now Our place I managed a little sneaking.
Coming from the other end of the house to investigate a loud "uh oh" and expecting to find something like the cat having thrown up on the new bed D instead found this:
(For scale, bed is a queen.)
The card contained my formal proposal, the ring I had picked up on Friday (D. thought it was going to be next week), and the Big Fluffy Dog I had arranged to "adopt" from a good friend who was looking for a new home for him.
So, that's a thing.
~~~
* It's a compromise. I have very strong opinions on any type of authority being called on to permit a relationship and weddings typically invoke at least civil authority even if not religious. I accept that some formality/paperwork around being recognised as next of kin etc may be necessary, but that is a different thing.
So we will have a event with as many of the trappings of D's concept of a wedding as I can tolerate / afford to declare our attacment to each other in front of the people who do matter to us, friends and family. Or at least as many as the venue can accommodate. Guest lists are an exercise in reluctant decisions.
~~~
Technically we may have started with building a house together. On that front the unit has been completed and C. has moved out there; we now have a spareish room and are playing the sliding puzzle game of rearrange all the furniture (and boxes, currently) so a room or half-a-room at a time can be carpet shampooed. At the current rate we'll be finished in about a fortnight. The majority of the non-utility areas will have been almost completely reconfigured after the process.
For example in the master bedroom, which has been done, there are only some wall hangings, powerboards, a heater and an alarm clock of what was there previously. (My bed of what, 15 years, having gone off to the Eco-Drop (base) and dump (mattress)). I may yet move back in another set of drawers.
A great many things have been thrown out. More are doubtless to follow, there are wardrobes and cupboards we haven't got to yet.
Although we'd come to the agreement to have a "formal occasion" organically, D. still insisted that at some point beforehand I needed to formally ask her, along with a suitable bri^H^H^H gift. She had managed to find out that I had a ring (aka #1) in the works and was getting antsy about the delay. (There was an issue with the setting).
Anyway Saturday last week was moving day. After very a long day of trucking stuff to the dump (two loads in a little box truck) and from her old flat to what is now Our place I managed a little sneaking.
Coming from the other end of the house to investigate a loud "uh oh" and expecting to find something like the cat having thrown up on the new bed D instead found this:
(For scale, bed is a queen.)
The card contained my formal proposal, the ring I had picked up on Friday (D. thought it was going to be next week), and the Big Fluffy Dog I had arranged to "adopt" from a good friend who was looking for a new home for him.
So, that's a thing.
~~~
* It's a compromise. I have very strong opinions on any type of authority being called on to permit a relationship and weddings typically invoke at least civil authority even if not religious. I accept that some formality/paperwork around being recognised as next of kin etc may be necessary, but that is a different thing.
So we will have a event with as many of the trappings of D's concept of a wedding as I can tolerate / afford to declare our attacment to each other in front of the people who do matter to us, friends and family. Or at least as many as the venue can accommodate. Guest lists are an exercise in reluctant decisions.
~~~
Technically we may have started with building a house together. On that front the unit has been completed and C. has moved out there; we now have a spareish room and are playing the sliding puzzle game of rearrange all the furniture (and boxes, currently) so a room or half-a-room at a time can be carpet shampooed. At the current rate we'll be finished in about a fortnight. The majority of the non-utility areas will have been almost completely reconfigured after the process.
For example in the master bedroom, which has been done, there are only some wall hangings, powerboards, a heater and an alarm clock of what was there previously. (My bed of what, 15 years, having gone off to the Eco-Drop (base) and dump (mattress)). I may yet move back in another set of drawers.
A great many things have been thrown out. More are doubtless to follow, there are wardrobes and cupboards we haven't got to yet.
