marsden_online (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
marsden_online) wrote2014-09-14 11:36 am
marsden_online) wrote2014-09-14 11:36 am
Feeling broken
Dreams (the night-time variety) .. one can leave you feeling relaxed and happy, the next can turn around and leave you shattered and broken. If they'd happened in the other order I'd feel better.
It is probably the after effects of a week of widely fluctuating emotions in response to a series of events - from nigh exhilarating highs to gutting comedowns. Also a week where I pushed myself somewhat at work and while I am happy with the time spent and with the quality of my code I still did not complete the results I was aiming for, at the cost of tiring myself out.
So today I feel broken and hurt and alone, and have a bad case of the "don't wanna's" which means I only* managed to drag myself out of bed because I have commitments to meet this afternoon - this will get done as will probably some other things which sort of /need/ doing but the things I had planned to do today are probably dead in the water.
* Also because lying in bed moping wasn't going to increase the chances of someone turning up on my doorstep to "distract and comfort"** me - but then neither is dumping and angsting in my journal.
** totally a euphemism
It is probably the after effects of a week of widely fluctuating emotions in response to a series of events - from nigh exhilarating highs to gutting comedowns. Also a week where I pushed myself somewhat at work and while I am happy with the time spent and with the quality of my code I still did not complete the results I was aiming for, at the cost of tiring myself out.
So today I feel broken and hurt and alone, and have a bad case of the "don't wanna's" which means I only* managed to drag myself out of bed because I have commitments to meet this afternoon - this will get done as will probably some other things which sort of /need/ doing but the things I had planned to do today are probably dead in the water.
* Also because lying in bed moping wasn't going to increase the chances of someone turning up on my doorstep to "distract and comfort"** me - but then neither is dumping and angsting in my journal.
** totally a euphemism