marsden_online (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
marsden_online) wrote2013-04-16 07:56 pm
marsden_online) wrote2013-04-16 07:56 pm
Entry tags:
Advice only good for extroverts
In which I have a rare moment of disagreement with one of Seth Godin's motivational thoughts
quoted in full
This does not gel with my experience in any particular. In my experience the connecting and appreciating all to often goes one way, with no apparent thought of reciprocation. In my experience those who will gladly follow a leader in one common cause will not necessarily
- step up and push when the leader falters and needs support even in that common cause,
- transfer that loyalty to another cause promoted by the same leader,
- form the bond which leads them to support said leader in other circumstances.
I can see that having followers no-matter what the circumstances might be energising for an extrovert. As an introvert... (Click for bigger version because iframe doesn't play nice)
... when I "feel lonely, disconnected or unappreciated" I don't want to have to spend the energy to bring someone to me. Especially if (I think there is the faintest chance) they might not want to be there. And I certainly don't want to have to expend energy on entertaining once they are here.
These are the times I explicitly want someone to demonstrate I mean enough that they are prepared to pro-actively come and spend time/energy/resources to make contact with me. These are the times I want someone -else- to do the reaching out.
It's true that if you don't get involved with stuff you'll never make the connections which may lead to friends who are willing to do this. And it's true that taking on leadership lifts your visibility and value (for certain values of value - heh) to some people as well as developing a whole lot of useful skills. But it's not by any means certain that you will make those friends. And for an introvert or at least for me and I'm sure I'm not alone in this ... "connecting, appreciating and leading" is not "easy" it is hard work and it is certainly not the "cure" to loneliness.
quoted in full
The next time you feel lonely, disconnected or unappreciated, consider that unlike many other maladies, this one hits everyone. And unlike other challenges, this one is easily overcome by realizing that you can cure the problem by connecting, appreciating and leading.
The minute we realize that the person sitting next to us needs us (and our tribe, our forward motion and the value we create), we're able to extinguish their aloneness as well as ours.
When you shine a light, both of you can see better.
This does not gel with my experience in any particular. In my experience the connecting and appreciating all to often goes one way, with no apparent thought of reciprocation. In my experience those who will gladly follow a leader in one common cause will not necessarily
- step up and push when the leader falters and needs support even in that common cause,
- transfer that loyalty to another cause promoted by the same leader,
- form the bond which leads them to support said leader in other circumstances.
I can see that having followers no-matter what the circumstances might be energising for an extrovert. As an introvert... (Click for bigger version because iframe doesn't play nice)
... when I "feel lonely, disconnected or unappreciated" I don't want to have to spend the energy to bring someone to me. Especially if (I think there is the faintest chance) they might not want to be there. And I certainly don't want to have to expend energy on entertaining once they are here.
These are the times I explicitly want someone to demonstrate I mean enough that they are prepared to pro-actively come and spend time/energy/resources to make contact with me. These are the times I want someone -else- to do the reaching out.
It's true that if you don't get involved with stuff you'll never make the connections which may lead to friends who are willing to do this. And it's true that taking on leadership lifts your visibility and value (for certain values of value - heh) to some people as well as developing a whole lot of useful skills. But it's not by any means certain that you will make those friends. And for an introvert or at least for me and I'm sure I'm not alone in this ... "connecting, appreciating and leading" is not "easy" it is hard work and it is certainly not the "cure" to loneliness.