My internal routine seems far less complex than yours, mainly boiling down to.. Is what I might say relevant?
There is more, but the not giving offence doesn't hinder me as often as I'd like when I do speak, one of the reasons I don't speak much in most settings. I have learnt enough to see that not speaking is going to be better than saying something 'wrong'.

As to your footnote, I'm now in the same rough age bracket, and I struggle to admit that women might be interested in me, let alone see it.