A death in the family

[marsden_online]

So at the same time we were learning the good news about D's quilts (previous post) she had just been in Wellington saying goodbye to her mother (J), whose health was steeply declining. This wasn't entirely a surprise, there has been a question mark over whether J would make the next Christmas for at least the past two years.

J passed away at the beginning of August and the next week we flew up to make a first pass at sorting through the house (no funeral; and the memorial service is next month) and brought back as much as would fit in the new-to-us car on the ferry (Interislander). This was my first time on the ferry; a little nausea probably due to starting a wordfind book otherwise fine. We took the afternoon/evening ferry and stayed in Picton for the night before driving back to Christchurch.

On the way out of Picton

The whole process has been made immeasurably easier by J's live-in caregivers, an old family friend and his wife who had been providing this service in the UK (apparently it is quite common over there, although practically unheard of over here) and relatively recently decided that it was a good time to return to NZ. They are also in charge of executing the will and dealing with the estate.

E was staying with a school friend while we were away and brought a non-Covid virus back into the house which has proceeded to kick our arses. As a result the process of sorting and rationalising what we have vs what we brought down (upgraded quite lot of the kitchen implements for example) has been slow, and has yet to be completed; this has also taken an additional mental toll with D feeling that she "can't get away from her mother" while the living room is cluttered with her stuff.

Many things however we just can't take into our small house - J was a bit of a hoarder. There are 100s of books and 100s of DVDs, most of which are of no interest to us even had we the space, and in recent years was prone to forgetting she had some household item and buying a new one. We're also having to dispose of some of our own collections - nice-to-haves but space-consuming and rarely looked at, which we have been talking about moving on since coming here - to make space for some things we do want.