Marsden is Here

On the face of it I have plenty to do at work at the moment, but when I look ... you guessed it ... waiting on other people again. Most are legitimately busy, it's not the usual suspects.

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Lets see ... there was party on Saturday. It went much as expected. I accomplished my specific goal for the evening and was gone before midnight. Indications are that I didn't miss anything I would consider interesting, which makes a change. Or maybe not.

My headspace wasn't in the right place for Sunday's game, characterised by my constant searching through my notes and "quick" reference sheets. The players didn't seem particularly interested either, there was no real sense of direction or ... urgency. I admt to enjoying seeing the characters get beaten down a bit, and the knowledge that it only gets tougher.

The stump grinder is supposed to show for another go on Friday. The builder is supposed to show to take down the side fence on Monday and Tuesday, which presumably means the new one will be up by the end of next week.

Gaming last night also lacked direction. I threw out as many ideas as I could, but I seemed to be the only one trying. While dropping him home I corrected R1's assumption that since he's trying to play a wilderness character who is out of his element in the city that he couldn't legitimately come up with useful suggestions.

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They arrested a 14 yr old kid for dropping the fatal brick on the motorway. 14 is a heck of an age to be throwing the rest of your life (and someone else's) life away. Then ... I was only 15 when I almost did an equivalent. The only difference is I struck in anger while he deliberately created a hazard. Is either more acceptable tho'?

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Politics [spits]. I get nothing or next to nothing from either of the big bribes, so my strategic 3rd party vote doesn't change, and wouldn't even if I did.

Over on GE&R there is a thread titled "Oh shit! You mean, when I don't vote, other people make the decisions?". It's about the constitutional referendum in Iraq and how the Sunni's, who mostly boycotted the previous round are signing up to vote in droves because they've realised how they crippled their cause. Which is all well and good for a refendum, but for a general eloection one poster summed up my feelings reasonably well:

"With an electoral system in place instead of a true democracy, the result is the same. I can vote or I can not vote, and in 10 out of 10 Presidential elections my vote doesn't mean shit and it doesn't help my candidate one bit. We have the illusion of choice in America and nothing more. The party machines choose the candidates, not the American people. They choose which ones to back with cash and which ones to denigrate in the press. We are left with exactly what they want us to have. Our voting system is like a candy vending machine with 50 different choices, but only 2 of the choices work when you pull the knob. The rest of the items are sold out. Sold out by a system put in place to maintain power and eliminate most of what our government is supposed to represent; freedom, democracy, choice, representation. Debates limited to "the big two", campaign finance law that stifles third parties, party manipulation of candidates, the elctoral college. All of it maintains power for the powerful and presents us with the illusion of choice."

Substitute the appropriate NZ terms, except we do have it a bit better than the Americans, we do actually have smaller parties with a voice. But it's pretty much how I feel, other people make the decisions. I just want them to leave me alone.

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Buckets of Dice this weekend. I have to keep reminding myself of this - my mind slides away from it like bubbles in oil. I don't know whether it's some form of fatigue or just trying to avoid an anticipated feeling of disappointment. Can't bear to flirt with hope any more.

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though I get my kicks
it's slowly wasting me
don't try to be an artist
I try to be a man

dead stars, still burn