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Well, things gett'n a bit 'ot in this ol' city o' Tellarat 'n me bein down to me last gol' piece I've taen to th' a'ventur'n life, respond'n to 'n ad by a profess'nal dung'n delver fellow wit line on'n ol' keep full o' treas'r out'n th' mountains. No cash up fr'nt but'l shake 'em Academy sharks off me tail.
Japes alon' fer th' ride are beinRené duPlessis
, bit o'n odd chap but e's th' one sett'n up this 'ere expedition so e's th' boss. [Human Factotum]
Player's description "Indiana Jones with a spiked chain instead of a whip." Rothratur
, dwarven 'oly knight 'n some sort o' quest and prob'ly th' most norm'l of us chumps by com'n stand'ns. Seems like a good bloke to 'ave at y' back mean'n e'd stay put 'n protect it unlike th' next two. [Dwarf Crusader]Takir
, genr'lly goes ar'nd as a good look'n human bloke but 'e dropped th' act for a bit 'n I seen 'im for what 'e really is, young incubus. Gods know (or mebee they don't) wot one o' them
is doin' lark'n about on this plane. Most never shuts 'is damned (heh) mouth, always 'as to be stick'n 'is nose into evryt'n 'n tell'n people what to do ('n "persua'n" th'm when 'ey don't). [Incubus using "monster class" levels]Killarah
, 'nother off-planer tho' she jus' tryn t'hide th' horns 'n tail unner her wearables. S'posd t' be the sneak 'n search bod so I 'ope she's a bit more obs'rvnt th'n prov'n so far. Seen 'er about a bit b'fore, hooked up w' one o th' underside guilds. [Tiefling Rogue/Psychic Warrior]
So we 'ead out o' town and worst luck the first village we stop 'n gets wraith-bomb'd o'ernight. Most o' the villagers made it to th' inn which turns out 'as an old relig's ward roun' it, din't find this out 'til a coupl' of the others 'ad gone outside 'n tried to smack the wraiths round a bit. [Dumb japes. Y' don'ever get close to a wraith.] Bloody incubus was so upset t'be fac'n someth'n 'e coul'n charm
or 'mpress 'e just stole a bow off some poor villager inside 'n sat on the roof shoot'n pointlessly. Meself just blasted 'em safely from th' window, lucky none came in from t'other direction tho' (not know'n bout th' wards at th' time).
Wraiths threw 'emselves at th' wards until dawn, when 'ey slunk off to 'ide out 'o th' sun for th' day. Rider was sent flat-tack to the city t'get some clerical 'elp, y'don' want wraiths wander'n this close t' a damn city. We 'ung around 'cos broken rest, too soon t'get spells back 'n might be a chance t' get paid fer blast'n wraiths t'night.
Th' incubus or th' scout managed t'find an 'idden temple unner th' inn 'n first thing t' dwarf 'n me knew 'bout it was t' incubus telepath'n¹ up that th' boss 'ad mang'd t' walk innoo a gelly cube down b'low. Scoot'd down 'n blast'd t'ooze off've 'im ('n scooped up a bunch o' coin it 'ad picked up somewhere) 'n he went back upstairs 'n took a bath while we scouted out th' rest of th' level 'n loot'd some good qual'ty weapons fr'm an old armory.
Th' was a big stair down t' a lower level wh'r t' is/was a demon fr'm th' old wars bound 'n asleep to all 'pearences², 'n old holy alt'r to the goddes s of protectin' travellers wh'r I 'eft what 'ad bin m'last gol' piece fer luck, a few dead a'ventur's and a bleeding (so t'speak) vampire, 'oo tried (failed more th' pity) ta make a meal 'o the incubus but din't bother chas'n us.
¹ not keen on th' blighter bein able t' get innoo me head whenever 'e wants - enough sharks already b'n mess'n around 'n there.
² [until the incubus' repeated clairvoyancing back to that room to make sure it was still there and asleep woke it up, not that he told the rest of the party why he was even more hell-bent on getting out of there than we already were]
Got back up t'stair to find the cavalry had arriv'd from t'city, liter'ly, force o' mounted relig's bods o' all sorts but all carry'n magic 'n led by a tall glow'n winged bod. Mebbee this place attracts 'em or th's a gate t'Sigil around or som'n. 'e weren't to pleased t'see t'other two w' us, looked at 'em 'ard but din't start w' th' smit'n. Dwarf had t' tell 'im all 'bout t' vampire 'n such down below but then 'ey sent a group down there 'n f'nd nuttin. So mebee we w' see'n things or mebee 'ey w'not
see'n things or mebee th' sharks down b'low jus' moved out t'wait for th' dust t' settle.
T'wraiths (w' more) turned up agin o'ernight 'n we left 'em to th' holy folk. 'ey dealt w' some but waited for dawn t' follow th' rest back to th' nest, 'n we hightailed it off t'ward th' mountains because it din't seem 'ey were goin' t'pay for 'elp w' anyth'n but bless'ns.
Day'r so later 'n we were pass'n throo 'n old forest when th'r's this goblin standing 'n th' road bold as brass demand'n a 50 gol' piece toll. Now if any o' us 'ad that sort o' coin we wouldn't be on this lark inna first place 'n buggered if anyone were giv'n up a valuable piece o' equipment. Where th's one goblin th's usually a bunch more so we wer'n keen t' just walk over 'im. 'e said the coin were so 'e could buy bread fer 'is many kids, so we off'd to liberate any coin 'e might know of 'ereabouts which might be guarded by someth'n nasty 'n pay 'im out o th' proceeds (or, since 'e point'd us at'n ogre, the corpse fer eat'n).
Short story, t'scout mang'd t'sneak up on t'sleep'n ogre 'n ta'e 't out 'n one stab³. found a bag o' sliver 'n a magic ring ' n a necklace o' fireballs
some'ow intact, lucky ogre nev'r roll'd ov'r onnoo it. Dragged th' body back to th' goblin 'oo were a bit surpris'd 'n he 'n th' scout nearly came t'blows, 'cept 'e called on 'is mates 'n 'bout 30 of the blight's popped up. Th't I might get t'do some blast'n after all, but it all calm'd down 'n toll accounted fer we moved on.
³ [DM had forgotten about the FORT save part of the coup de grace rules and after the rogue did 26ish damage on the strike the DC was 36, difficult even for an ogre barbarian. To his credit he gave us the kill rather than fudging the encounter.]